The Persona Benchmark
Last March, I was back in my childhood home with large feelings of uncertainty. Strong sentiments around the sudden change of pace in life where I was taken out of my final quarter of college due to the unforeseen consequences of COVID-19. I found myself with more free time than I would normally have. The time I spent walking around campus, the hours I put into the gym, and the moments I spent with friends. It was all taken away. I was stuck in my room, endlessly contemplating when the world would go back to normal.
With nothing to do, I thought this would be an ideal time to revisit a childhood pastime and the opportunity to get to know my most recent and most spontaneous Black Friday purchase: a PlayStation 4. I hadn’t played video games since high school. Ever since college, life has been so busy that I never had the time to sit down and play video games like I did as a little boy. Thus, I was quite unfamiliar with the world of gaming. I knew about a few sequels to games I played when I was younger but that was it. I browsed the enormous online store and felt lost. I didn’t exactly know what I was looking for. But I did know I wanted to get a game that would bring me back to the good ol’ days of gaming. I desired an imaginative experience, one filled with an immersive world, interesting characters, and an introspective story.
After some research, all fingers seem pointed towards Persona 5. A video game where you play as a high schooler in Tokyo who has the power to steal malevolent intent, exploring the conventions of subconscious psychological desires and existentialism. Not only did this game philosophically fascinate me but it also took me on journey filled with existential life lessons I didn’t realize until a year later.
I played this game during a time where going outside was completely out of the question. As I dove deeper in the social simulation of the game, I found myself longing for what I could do in this game. Old me would have rushed to get back to the faster paced action of the game, disregarding all the social simulation as uninteresting. However, I found myself spending more time enjoying the more mundane activities of the game. I played the game with a slow and appreciative pace.
In a world where there was nothing to do, Persona became my imaginative compromise. The ability to attend school and foster bonds with classmates. The possibility of traveling to other parts of Japan such as Akihabara, Shinjuku, and Shibuya. The opportunity to spend free time exploring shops, restaurants, and scenic venues. I explored every nook and cranny of Persona’s depiction of Japan, acknowledging the beauty of a busy and lively city. These activities were all things I previously viewed as “given’s” within my life. They were activities that I knew were available but never appreciated. My friends and I eventually viewed them as undesirable and unattractive. But at the point where these “given’s” were not even possible, undesirable and unattractive slowly became enticing and exciting.
About one year later, I ended up re-purchasing the game. In that year, things have radically changed. Our current world is no longer plagued by ambiguity and ambivalence. The world is opening back up with activities to participate in, vaccinations to protect us, and a new awareness for health protocols. As I re-explore the world, I find myself appreciating the smaller things that I never thought about. I now welcome the crowded busyness of a downtown street that used to be annoy me. I enjoy the prospect of running into and meeting new people which I used to avoid. I find more delight in finding the right people rather than the right activity.
While others had Animal Crossing, I had Persona. Ultimately, it was after a year that I realized Persona had become in someway a benchmark for me. As I played through the game a second time, I still find myself appreciating those same activities pre-COVID me would’ve ignored. And now despite being able to do them in real life, I still retain this deep gratitude towards life’s day-to-day interactions—all of which I heavily took for granted.
